


Littlest Keeper

by Nach0



Category: Hilda (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, But mostly angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hilda blames herself, Hilda's plan goes very wrong, Johanna fucking dies, Self-Hatred, Sign Language, maybe a tiny bit of fluff, mute character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29652396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nach0/pseuds/Nach0
Summary: When Hilda's plan inThe Old Bells of Trollberggoes horribly wrong, she is sent to live with Argus, the bellkeeper. With both of them blaming themselves, will they be able to find comfort in the other?
Relationships: Alfur & Hilda (Hilda), David & Hilda (Hilda), Frida & Hilda (Hilda), Hilda & The Librarian (Hilda), Hilda & Twig (Hilda), The Bellkeeper & Hilda (Hilda)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pikablob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikablob/gifts).



“Hear that?” the bell keeper, Argus, asked. Hilda stood next to him at the broken window, enjoying the silence.

“Sounds lovely,” Hilda responded, sticking out her hand for him to shake. He smiled and took it, opening his mouth to respond, when David’s voice came over their walkie talkies.

“Hilda- I- your-“ his voice came out shaky, and he couldn’t seem to get the words out. “Just, come outside.”

Hilda was intrigued, and also a little concerned. So she made her way out of the room, finding Frida on her way out of the tower. She tilted her head in an unspoken question and Frida just shrugged; she had no idea what was going on either.

They exited the building to see a large crowd surrounding the back of the stands, but neither of them could see what was happening from their position on the ground. Hilda tried to go towards the group of people but she found her path blocked by David.

“Hilda you- you shouldn’t go over. It’s- it’s _bad_. _Please_ , just stay here.”

Hilda’s concern grew as the worry in David’s tone did. Still, she pushed passed him into the crowd, weaving through the people to get to the front. When she did, her heart stopped.

Lying on the ground, still as a troll rock and surrounded by paramedics, was her mum. Hilda pushed past the last of the crowd and tried to run up to her mum, only to find strong arms holding her back.

“Let me GO! That’s my _MUM_!” Hilda screamed and kicked but she was still held back. A voice with a strong German accent revealed the identity of her captor.

“Hilda you must calm down or I will be forced to restrain you. Please, stay back.”

Hilda was about to kick out again when Argus came around in front of her and knelt down.

“The best thing you can do is let the paramedics work. You’ll be allowed to ride in the ambulance, but you can’t get in the way. Ok?” Hilda still struggled at first, but as she took in his words, she slowly calmed enough for Gerda to release her. Silently she walked into the ambulance as Johanna was being loaded in, and Argus tried to follow, only to be stopped by Gerda.

“I’m sorry sir but only family can ride in the ambulance. Are you a relative?”

Argus thought for a moment before nodding. “I’m Hilda’s... uncle. I need to go with her, to make sure she’s ok.” Gerda nodded and stepped aside, letting him into the vehicle.

The ride to the hospital was spent in silence, with only the beeping of the machines to keep them company. When they finally arrived, they were directed to a waiting room while Johanna was rushed away to an emergency room.

Stuck in the waiting room with no news and no way of communicating with anyone else, Hilda cried into Argus’s side until she fell asleep.

~~<3~~

Eventually a doctor came out, grim-faced and apologetic. Before he’d even opened his mouth Hilda and Argus already feared the worst. When he started to apologise, Hilda tried to jump up, only to be held back.

“NO! SHE CAN’T BE GONE! YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER! _PLEASE! SAVE HER!_ ”

Argus’s heart broke as she screamed, the sound echoing through the room. Other people waiting glanced over before looking away quickly, as no-one wanted to witness the heartbreaking scene. Argus pulled her into a hug, and she resisted at first, but eventually stopped and began to cry openly. The doctor stood there awkwardly, looking relived when Argus motioned for him to go.

Hilda stayed curled on Argus’s lap for another hour until someone came up to them. Argus looked up to glare at whoever interrupted them, only to find a tall lady in a suit holding a CPS ID badge in his face.

“I know this may not be the best time, but as the only living relative to Hilda we have been able to find, we need to make sure that you’ll be a good fit as guardian. Unless of course, you aren’t ready to take her in, in which case she will be placed in the foster system.”

Argus looked down at Hilda. He had no idea how to look after a kid, but she was his responsibility now. It was _his_ fault that her mother was dead; _he_ was the one who let Hilda into the control room; _he_ said that it was a good idea to overload the systems. Slowly he tore his gaze from the tiny girl in his lap and met the eye of the social worker.

“I’ll take her in.”

She nodded and crouched down to be eye level with Hilda, eyes and tone softening.

“And what about you Hilda? Are you ok to live with your uncle? It’s perfectly alright to say no.”

Hilda only nodded.

~~<3~~

After the social worker had finished questioning them, Argus and Hilda had gone back to Argus’s house on the wall. Hilda didn’t have any belongings with her, other than her bolt cutters, but neither of them were ready to go to the apartment, despite having been given the keys. They both knew at least Argus would have to go at some point, but the wounds were still too fresh.

Argus didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Was he meant to talk to her? Give her space? At the very least they should eat something, right? That sounded right to him, so he started to move towards the kitchen, only to stop as Hilda walked straight past him.

“Hilda?” he called. “Do you want something to eat? I don’t have anything fancy but we can go shopping tomorrow.”

Hilda just shook her head and walks over to the guest room, still as silent as she’d been since being told of Johanna’s passing.

_‘Of course she’s not talking to you!’_ his thoughts admonished. _‘You **killed** her mum! She’s not just going to strike up a friendly conversation!’_

So, he watched as she kept walking, wincing as the door shut just a little _too_ loud. A moment later he heard crying coming from her room. He debated what to do, but in the end he decided she probably wanted to be alone, or at least to talk to someone that wasn’t him. Eventually the sobs subsided, and he went into a night of uneasy sleep.

~~<3~~

Hilda lay in her bed, unaware of the shadowy presence watching her. As she fell asleep, the figure materialised, the moon lighting them up. If Hilda were awake, she would have recognised them as the Marra that had tormented David so long ago.

As the Marra started to chant, her hands began to glow, waking Twig from his slumber. He started growling at her, only to be ignored, the only indication his presence was registered being an eye roll. As the incantation finished, she looked down at the sleeping body of Hilda and nodded.

She may have needed nightmares to survive, but the Marra had a code of honour. And if anyone deserved a peaceful night’s rest, it was Hilda. She only hoped the spell would hold.

~~<3~~

One week after moving in with Argus, Hilda was woken by a gentle hand shaking her.

“Hilda, love, it’s time to get up.”

As soon as the words had left his mouth, Argus froze. Had Hilda heard? He could have kicked himself, Hilda was still grieving her mother, which was _his fault_ , and he had already started to think of her as, if not a daughter, at least family.

Luckily for him, Hilda was still fast asleep, unaware of his conflicting emotions. Another shake later and she was reluctantly awake, leaving him to get ready for the day.


	2. Chapter 2

Hilda came with him to work during the weekdays. She had been excused from school, but he couldn’t afford to take any time off work, especially now that he had taken in a child. So, they woke early and came back late, and if Argus wasn’t careful, Hilda would sneak into her room without eating dinner.

During the day, Argus tend to his duties while Hilda sat off to the side, staring out into the wilderness. Argus was worried about her; he had given her books, sketchpads, a woff migration guide, even a copy of _The Basics of Hyperspatial Spirit Dynamics_ , a book he didn’t even know _why_ he had, but they all remained untouched.

 _‘Is she planning on running?’_ he thought to himself. He certainly wouldn’t blame her, but he felt it would make him a pretty bad guardian if she did. So, he vowed to keep a closer eye on her and keep her safe, whatever that may mean. He didn’t want her to feel like a prisoner, however, and wanted her to have at least _some_ fun. That afternoon, when he was thinking of ideas for activities they could do, his eyes landed on a promotional poster.

Perfect.

~~<3~~

Argus held Hilda’s hand as he led her through the crowds. He had brought her to the Great Raven Parade with the hopes of cheering her up, but after watching her staring down at the ground the whole time, hindsight had made him realise it probably hadn’t been the best idea.

After he had signed the paperwork, Alfur had told him of their many adventures, including their very first one in Trolberg. He had tried to re-create the joy and adventure from that first parade, and it had gone horribly. Disheartened by the fact that Hilda wasn’t enjoying herself, and feeling guilty that he was the reason why, Argus decided that they would go home after the Great Raven showed up.

Contrary to Argus’s belief, Hilda _had_ been enjoying herself, and she hated it. She hated how she could have fun, how she could be happy after killing her own mother. So, she kept her gaze firmly on the ground and tried to push down her feelings. _‘I don’t deserve the nice things Argus is doing for me,’_ she thought, then paused. Argus was doing nice things for her, and she’d been moping the whole time! Making up her mind, she tugged on Argus’s hand and started to lead him out of the crowd.

Disappointed, Argus followed, thinking Hilda was leading him home. However, after she lead him through what had to be the fifth alleyway, he was more than a little confused.

“Hilda?” he questioned. “Where are we going?”

Hilda just turned back and shot him a grin, yellow eyes practically sparkling with amusement. Argus felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of ~~his daughter~~ _Hilda_ so happy, and at that moment he knew he would give up _everything_ to keep her that way.

Finally, Hilda stopped in front of a wall, Argus almost ramming into her from the momentum. He was about to ask what they were doing there when Hilda turned and ran away. He went to give chase, extremely confused, when she came sprinting back right towards the wall. As she got about a meter before she took a huge leap, hands grasping the brick as she pulled herself up.

She looked back at him mischievously as if to say _‘What?’_ and Argus let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. He pulled himself up with a grunt and wrapped his arm around her to stop her from falling off. He smiled at her as she leaned into his side and gave a small chuckle.

“I could have just boosted you, you know. I’m getting old, I can’t have this many heart attacks, at least not all at once.” Hilda shook with silent laughter and Argus had the distinct impression she was rolling her eyes.

Argus looked down at the – dare he say it – domestic scene that had unfolded and yearned for more. Even though it hadn’t happened under... _ideal_ circumstances, he truly believed he and Hilda could be something resembling family. But he knew he was practically a stranger to her, and honestly? He had no idea how to look after a child, let alone a grieving one, especially when _he_ was the cause of said grief. He would try his best if Hilda let him, but he wanted her to have that choice. So, he summed up his courage and opened his mouth.

“I- Hilda-“ Argus stopped, took a deep breath, and started again. “Hilda I know that I probably wouldn’t have been your first pick for someone to look after you. I know that you don’t want to have to pick in the first place, but if you want to try and find someone else to look after you, I understand, and will support you in whatever way I can.”

Hilda listened to his words with a frown. He wanted her to leave? At least he was being nice about it. _‘Of course he wants you to go,’_ her thoughts screamed at her. _‘You **killed** your mum and he got dumped with you. He’s probably scared that he’ll be next.’_

Hilda pushed down the negative thoughts and shook her head before burrowing further into Argus’s side. He’d given her a choice, and if he asked again, then she’d take the hint and leave. But, at least in that moment, she’d just enjoy his company.

If Argus planned to say anything else, he never got the chance, being cut off by simultaneous gasps from the crowd below them. Above them, illuminating the sky with flashes of lightning, was the Great Raven. He watched in awe as the bird did tricks and poses, flying over the parade. It seemed to be scanning the crowd for something when its eyes locked on where Argus and Hilda were sitting. In a move that shocked Argus, it swooped down to them before _speaking_!?! to Hilda.

“Tilda! Want to go for a ride?” the raven questioned, and if that hadn’t been enough to shock him to his core, Hilda gave a slow shake of her head before she reached out as far as she could without falling off in some semblance of a hug. The raven’s eyes softened and it leaned more into the embrace.

“I heard what happened. If you need to talk I’ll be around.” it said, before flying into the sky, lightning brushing its wingtips. Argus turned to ask Hilda about what had just happened, only to find her asleep. With a soft smile, he slowly and carefully maneuvered them off the wall, picked Hilda up, and began to walk home. As he tucked her into her bed, he decided to prove Hilda had made the right choice by choosing to stay with him.

~~<3~~

The next morning when Hilda woke up, she found a journal on her bedside table, a sticky note decorating the top.

_‘I understand why you may not want to open up to me, but writing down your thoughts and feelings may help. -Argus’_

She picked it up and hugged it to her chest, tears pooling in her eyes at the thoughtful gift. Twig leaped up to lick the tears off her face, and she laughed while giving him a pat. After a moment of thought, Hilda picked up a pen, knowing exactly what to use the journal for.

~~<3~~

Later that day, Hilda gave Argus a hug as thanks for the book. Tears started to pool in his eyes before he wiped them away, trying not to let Hilda see. He walked away, thinking the journal had helped, unaware of the true contents of the book.

In bold red letters in the cover, the words _‘THINGS THAT ARE ALL MY FAULT’_ had been scrawled across the page. The very first dot point was Johanna’s death.


	3. Chapter 3

Hilda had _not_ been looking forward to going back to school, but Argus couldn’t keep taking her to work with him, and she had to go back at some point. She wasn’t the best at school, even before... the _incident_ , and since you typically needed to talk to answer questions, she wasn’t expecting the day to go well.

 _‘At least Miss Halgrim won’t get mad at me for disrupting class all the time,’_ she’d thought with a chuckle. Adjusting the straps of her bag one final time, she took a deep breath and carefully walked into the school. As soon as she stepped foot on the campus grounds, she was tackled by Frida and David

“HILDA!” they cried in unison. They spun around in a desperate bid to keep their balance, before they had failed and collapsed to the ground. Laughing, Hilda had taken in in the happiness she’d felt at seeing her two friends again. Why hadn’t she come back sooner?

That. That was why. Sitting in class, Hilda held a pen to her paper, hands shaking too much to write. Why couldn’t she just write? Intrusive thoughts flooded her brain as her hand refused to _put down the pen and write!_

_‘You’re pathetic. You couldn’t save your mum, and now you can’t even do simple tasks? Everyone already thinks you’re a freak for not talking, what will they say about your writing?’_

And Hilda _had_ noticed the glances sent her way, no matter how subtle people _*cough cough Trevor*_ thought they were. But being constantly watched, by teachers, other kids, even Frida and David, though rarer, had its toll on her.

The way everyone had been watching her, waiting for her to say something, just do anything interesting in general, it had almost been too much. She had wanted to curl into a ball, to block everyone and everything out. Still, she hadn’t.

She hadn’t wanted to be the school freak, hadn’t wanted to give Argus any reason to kick her out, so she ignored the physical pain that came with the stares. She ignored the way every muscle had tensed at the slightest sound. She ignored the way Frida and David were choosing their words carefully, sharing glances with meaning hidden to her.

When a hand landed on Hilda’s shoulder, she realised she’d been crying. Drops had landed on the page, on her hand, on the pen that _wouldn’t write any words-_ and Ms Halgrim was looking at her with pity. Silently, she let herself be led out of the classroom, mentally preparing a journal entry.

_#14 – Disrupting class._

~~<3~~

Later that day, Hilda had been writing in her journal during break. She could practically _feel_ the curiosity rolling off Frida and David in waves, and deeply appreciated the fact they hadn’t asked to look at it.

 _‘The same can’t be said for everyone,’_ she thought, trying to ignore the panic that welled up as Trevor snatched the book from her hand, waving it in front of her face. When she had tried to grab it back, he threw it to one of his friends nearby.

“No way you’re getting it back that easy! You show up after a week of being missing, and now you don’t speak? I want some answers, and you’re going to give them to me.” Feeling confident, he motioned for the book to be thrown back to him, fumbling a bit before finally holding it. He stood in front of Hilda as she looked down, body trembling as her fists clenched and unclenched.

“Come on _witch_ , got nothing to say? Are you even a witch anymore? Probably, not right? Ha, you’re such a failure that even the _witches_ kicked you out! Now I feel bad for you, so how about this. Say one word, one _itty bitty word_ , and I’ll give your precious diary back. How does that sound?” Trevor spoke with confidence, and why shouldn’t he? His target was mute, couldn’t defend herself to teachers and wasn’t even putting up a fight!

Trevor soon learned that he shouldn’t have been so cocky. As Hilda looked up and met his gaze, her eyes _blazed._

~~<3~~

After Trevor had been sent to the nurse’s office because of a broken arm, the teachers asked witnesses for their version of the events. To their frustration, no one had witnessed the incident, conveniently preoccupied with other things. With Trevor claiming that he tripped, they were forced to believe him and turn their attention to more pressing issues, like dealing with the storm that was his mother.


	4. Chapter 4

Alfur silently left his house, careful not to make noise in case Hilda was sleeping. The clock was positioned right above the bed, not the most ideal placement, but it was the only available spot in the room with a shelf.

He was so quiet that even though Hilda was awake, scribbling away in her journal, she hadn’t heard him come out. He was about to catch her attention to ask her to help him get down – they _really_ should install a ladder of some sort – when two words caught his eye.

_My fault._

Without meaning to, he found himself reading along as Hilda wrote.

_‘#17 – David failing his maths exam._

_David told us after class about how he failed his maths exam. Frida said he should study more but he said he didn’t have any time. He probably had to spend his free time figuring out how to deal with me. He normally can’t understand what I’m trying to say, and so he was probably trying to get better to help me. Or he was finding a way to tell me he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, which I understand._

_Either way, him failing the exam was **my fault**.’_

A pit grew in Alfur’s stomach the more he read, feeling horrified at how Hilda though of herself. As he looked up from the page to try and sneak away, he was met with Hilda’s intense stare.

“H-Hilda!” he stammered. “I was just about to ask you to help me down?” His voice tilted up into a question at the end and he cringed at Hilda’s raised eyebrow. Slowly, he backed away before turning and sprinting towards his house. He never got near the door due to Hilda’s hand blocking his path.

Alfur turned to try another direction, only to find it blocked as well. He spun around slowly to face Hilda, swallowing with a loud gulp. He knew Hilda wouldn’t hurt him, but he didn’t like the look in her eye. She reached to a lower shelf and pulled out... paperwork? They were official documents from the Northern Counties too – when had she had time to get these?

Reading them over, he found that it was an iron-clad non-disclosure agreement. As he flipped through the pages, he looked desperately for a loophole, but found none, not even the Lindworm clause. With Twig growling menacingly and Hilda looking at him expectantly, Alfur pulled out a pen and signed the documents with a heavy heart.

After checking that everything was signed correctly, (which Alfur took _great_ offence to) Hilda nodded at him and gave an apologetic smile. She sat down on her bed where Twig curled next to her, before beginning to write again. Alfur gave a small cough and she looked up sheepishly. She helped him down to the ground, opening the door for him to leave. Going back to her bed, she didn’t notice how Alfur hesitated at the door, looking back with a sad gaze.

“No matter what you may think, it wasn’t your fault.”

Hilda just glared, and Alfur scurried away, already planning a way around the contract. He couldn’t tell people, sure, but the contract hadn’t said anything about _hinting_.


	5. Chapter 5

Hilda waved goodbye to Frida and David as she rounded the corner, turning towards the back of the school. With Argus’s house being located on the wall, she had to split off from her friends who lived more towards the centre. She hated going home this way; there weren’t as many people around and she always felt uneasy.

So when she felt like she was being watched, she shrugged it off as her usual nervousness, or at least she tried to. She couldn’t shake the feeling, and when it grew she decided to try and confirm her ever-growing worry, one way or the other.

Changing course, Hilda turned left down an alleyway. She walked until about the end of the street, and when the feeling persisted, she turned left again. She kept going like this until she had taken four left turns and was one hundred percent sure she was being followed.

As she slipped through another alleyway, Hilda planned to change course and head to some public place – the library perhaps? – before she found her path blocked by none other than Trevor. Groaning, she rolled her eyes and turned to walk the other way, only to see the rest of his gang standing at the entrance.

_‘ **This** is what I’ve been worried about? Trevor and his cronies? Well, no point in attacking them straight away, let’s see how this plays out. As long as they don’t touch me or my journal I couldn’t care less.’_

And Hilda really couldn’t care. She could easily ignore their words, and she could easily defend herself, which they all knew. So, she leaned back against the wall and dove into her own thoughts as Trevor started talking. She vaguely noted him trying to taunt her, and felt amused at his growing rage before immediately feeling bad again. What was she doing? She shouldn’t be taking pleasure in someone being mad! _‘Another reason I’m a horrible person, I suppose.’_

Her head snapped to attention when she heard two very important words.

“...and it’s **YOUR FAULT** YOUR MUM DIED!” Trevor screamed, before everyone immediately fell silent. Trevor’s gang took a step backwards from him as Hilda slowly stepped closer. He tried to stammer out apologies but got cut off when Hilda placed a hand on his shoulder. Everyone winced prematurely, thinking Trevor was going to have to explain to his mum why he had _more_ broken bones. (They all secretly thought that was much worse than the injuries themselves.)

When Hilda met Trevor’s eyes, everyone took a breath in, prepared to see their friend get beaten up, only to release it in confusion when Hilda sharply nodded once. Stunned, they didn’t even try to protest as she turned and strode out of the alleyway, as if her day had never been interrupted in the first place.

Trevor and his friends exchanged a silent conversation. At least until he had figured out _whatever_ was wrong with her, they wouldn’t pick on Hilda.

Secretly, in the back of his mind, Trevor knew that if Hilda actually cared enough to want them to stop, they would all be in the hospital instead of standing and staring at her retreating back.


	6. Chapter 6

Hilda was leaning against a wall at the school’s entrance, listening to David tell a story. She was only partly paying attention, more concerned with how Frida was later than usual. Nowhere near _late_ – at least not yet – but it worried her all the same. So, she tuned back in to what David was saying while still keeping an eye out for her friend.

“...and that’s when the frog decided to-“ David cut himself off, squinting at something in the distance before smiling wildly. He waved wildly and Hilda turned to find Frida running at them. When she was close enough for them to see her face, Hilda noticed how excited she looked and wondered why, especially when David muttered _‘finally’_ under his breath.

Hilda smiled as Frida ran up to her, the excitement rolling off the older girl in waves. She seemed to have boundless energy, rocking back and forth on her heels and swinging her arms back and forth. After David said hello she turned to Hilda and raised her hand, before lowering it in what seemed to be a more casual version of the Sparrow Scout Salute. Hilda just tilted her head in confusion; why was Frida saluting her?

Frida deflated at her confusion, looking at her hands dejectedly.

“Did I do it wrong? I studied for so long...”

Hilda, feeling immediately bad, placed a hand on Frida’s shoulder and cocked her head again, trying to get her to explain. She looked up dejectedly as she told Hilda that it was _meant_ to be sign language. Hilda’s mouth formed a perfect oh as she stepped back, trying to think of how to communicate that she didn’t know sign language to Frida.

Eventually she settled for pointing at herself and shrugging, but it seemed to have gotten the message across.

“You... don’t know... oh! You don’t know sign language?” she guessed, lighting up when Hilda nodded enthusiastically before her expression fell again.

“Oh... At least I know a new language? Even if I may not get to use it... heh.”

The bell rung before anyone could say anything else, so they ran towards the classroom. Hilda’s mood fell as she thought about the downtrodden look on Frida’s face, she had spent so much time on something just because Hilda was _broken_ and couldn’t talk. Making up her mind, she decided to try and learn sign language. She wouldn’t let all Frida’s hard work go to waste.

~~<3~~

The bookshelves in the library stretched up to the ceiling, looming over Hilda and making her feel small. Before she could convince herself to turn around and go home, she shook her head and took another step inside.

_‘Frida did all that work learning sign language because you’re broken and can’t talk; the least you can do is try to learn it as well and not let all her work go to waste.’_

Hilda started towards one of the shelves before hesitating. She didn’t even know where to _start_ looking, let alone find the exact right book, and it wasn’t like she could ask for help! As that last thought entered her head she slapped her hand on her face. She was so dumb! Kaisa always knew what book they needed before the even asked, and Hilda hoped it wasn’t her looking into the future.

As she waited at the desk, Hilda started to feel less and less sure of herself. What if Kaisa was taking the day off? What if she was busy? What if she just didn’t want to talk to her? What if she thought Hilda was too much effort, pathetic, _broken-_

“No need to worry Hildi, I’m right here.”

Arms wrapped around Hilda from behind, making her tense before she slowly relaxed into the hug, turning to hug Kaisa back in return. When she did, she felt a pull at her bellybutton, and even from where she had buried her face into Kaisa she could see that it had gotten darker.

Pulling away, she noticed how they were in an entirely different room and tilted her head in question.

“I can move through the library to any room a patron needs me in. And right now, you needed a quiet room on your own.”

In a surprising show of strength, Kaisa picked Hilda up and walked over to a nearby couch, wrapping the younger girl in her cape as they sat. The kindness being shown combined with the warmth of the cape and all her repressed feeling made Hilda lose her tight grip on her emotions and she buried her face into Kaisa’s side, starting to sob. The librarian didn’t say anything and simply let her, rubbing soothing circles into her back.

Eventually the sobs dulled to hiccups, then silent tears, before stopping completely. Still they stayed like that for a while longer, Kaisa never stopping her repetitive motions. When Hilda finally lifted her head, it was to look at Kaisa with grateful eyes. She just gazed back fondly, pulling Hilda onto her lap with a grunt, making sure the cape was still firmly wrapped around her.

“Now, I believe you came here to learn, did you not?” Kaisa asked, waving her wand to make two books appear next to them. Hilda reached for the first one and read the title, pleased to see it was exactly what she needed.

_‘An introduction to sign language – greetings, basic phrases and conveying emotion.’_

“Frida found this one quite helpful. I should have guessed it had something to do with you.”

Hilda gave her a sheepish smile before she grabbed the next book, but her face dropped into a frown as she took in the cover.

_‘Self-blame and how to move past it – realising that it wasn’t your fault.’_

She set the book down away from her at the end of the couch, and then put a pillow over the top of it for good measure. She turned back to frown at Kaisa who simply looked at her with a pitying expression.

“The accident was not your fault. It was just that – an accident. But we can talk about it, later.” she adds as Hilda glared at her “But we will talk about it.”

~~<3~~

They sat together learning sign language for hours, not that they could tell in the windowless room, until Kaisa suddenly sat up straight, startling Hilda.

“It’s closing time,” she explained with an apologetic look, “but you are more than welcome to stay after hours if you wish.”

Hilda shook her head and brought her fingers and thumb together. She touched her cheek at the side of her mouth before moving them towards her ear and tapping again – the signal for home in sign language. Kaisa smiled and nodded.

“Of course, do you need a lift home?”

Hilda shook her head no and moved towards the door before stopping, looking back at Kaisa before starting and stopping to sign something many times before giving up and shrugging her shoulders.

“You don’t know how to sign it?” Kaisa guessed, and when Hilda nodded she pulled out a pen and paper from... somewhere. “Here, try this. Not everyone will know sign language, so writing is always a good option.”

Hilda took them and placed the pen to the paper with shaky hands. After about a minute of hesitation, she wrote _‘it **is** my fault’._ The writing was messy and hardly legible and the pen was held in a grip so tight it could snap, but it made Kaisa’s heart break all the same. She gently took the pen kneeled down in front of Hilda and held her shoulders, looking her in the eye.

“Hildi, listen to me. It was not your fault. You did not know, you did not want it to happen, it was not your fault. You need to understand this. _Please_ at least think about it.” Kaisa pleaded, but even as Hilda nodded she knew her words didn’t get through, at least not fully. So, she pulled Hilda into a tight hug, trying to give the younger girl as much comfort as she could before they parted ways. Sneakily and with magic, she slipped the book on self-blame as well as a note into her bag before standing up. With a wave of her hand, the bookshelf door slid open and she led Hilda away.

~~<3~~

That night, when Hilda got home, she found the book she had purposely left behind hidden in her bag, as well as a sticky note attached to the front.

She couldn’t bring herself to read either.

~~<3~~

The next morning, Hilda greeted Frida in sign language. The blinding smile on the other girl’s face made her late night of study all worth it.


	7. Chapter 7

Argus sat at the kitchen table, reading another letter that had been sent by Hilda’s school.

 _‘Dear Mr Mitchell... your niece Hilda... not participating in class... transfer to special needs classes...’_ he sighed. The letter said the same thing that all the others did, and he still had no idea what to do. How was he supposed to magically help her talk, or at the very least help her complete her work?

He looked out the window to where Hilda and Twig were playing in the garden, a wide smile on her face. She looked so _peaceful_ , and he wanted to keep it that way for as long as he could. While he was watching them, he had an idea. He grabbed his keys, coat, and Hilda’s bag. They had to get there early if he wanted time before school to schedule a meeting, after all.

~~<3~~

Argus watched as Hilda ran over to her friends and greeted them. (Was she saluting them? Must be some sort of secret handshake.) He waved goodbye before walking into the school, heading towards Mrs Halgrim’s office. He had only met her once before, when he had to inform the school of the change in guardianship, but she had _seemed_ reasonable enough at the time.

Knocking on the door, he mentally prepared what he needed to say, hoping to at least be able to convince her to hold a meeting instead of having the idea shot down cold. When he was told to enter he glanced at his watch; 5 minutes before he had to leave to avoid being late to work. He could do this!

~~<3~~

“-and that’s why I think it would be a good idea to have this meeting, so we can try and figure out if this would work for Hilda.” Argus finished, trying not to squirm under the harsh gaze of the teacher. She stared him down for several moments before pulling out a small journal and writing something down.

“The meeting is set for 6pm tonight. The principal will be there too, don’t be late.”

Argus just nodded and stood up to leave. As he was almost out the door, Mrs Halgrim called out one more time.

“And Mr Mitchell? For what it’s worth, I really do hope this helps Hilda.”

Looking over his shoulder into the office, Argus almost tripped over a child who was waiting at the door. Sending a quick apology their way, he started to quickly walk out of the school. Even if no one would know that he was slightly late, he liked to be on time on principle. When his car refused to start, he thought it might be time to reconsider his stance.

~~<3~~

Argus glanced back at Hilda and Twig in the car mirror. Hilda had been confused when told that they were going back to the school, and even more so when Argus asked her to bring Twig, but she got into the car anyway, holding Twig close.

To avoid getting her hopes up, Argus hadn’t told her what the meeting was about, but he couldn’t avoid getting _his_ hopes up instead. Mrs Halgrim had seemed to be on his side, and he was sure he could count on her to help convince the principal if the scales seemed to be leaning away from his favour.

With cautious optimism, he opened Hilda’s car door to let her and Twig out. He gently took her hand and led them over towards the school entrance, expecting to only see the two members of staff. His hopes were dashed as he saw a large number of parents also present, not many of which looked happy, or at least not outright hostile.

Warily taking his eyes off the group, he turned and kneeled down in front of Hilda, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Hilda, I want you to understand that nothing bad is happening. Even if this meeting doesn’t go my way, nothing will change. I’m not telling you what because I don’t want to get your hopes up, but if everything _does_ go right then there will be a change for the better. The original plan was to bring you in with me, but I have a feeling that there may be a wee bit of yelling, so I need you to stay out here and play with Twig. Are you ok with that or do you want to come inside anyway?”

Hilda nodded and held up one finger, signalling that she was ok to stay outside. Argus smiled and pulled her into a hug before setting her free to run around with Twig. He dropped his smile as he turned back to the group. No matter what, he would do everything he could to help Hilda.

~~<3~~

Argus sat at a long conference table, across from Mrs Halgrim, the principal - Principal _Magnusson_ he reminded himself – and the PTA. Karen Greene, the PTA head, sat directly opposite him, doing nothing to hide her glare. Many others followed her lead, though none quite matched her ferocity.

Tearing his gaze away, he turned towards Mrs Halgrim.

“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but when I requested this meeting I assumed it would be _staff_ only. May I ask why the PTA is here, or even how they found out?”

The teacher opened her mouth to respond before being cut off by Karen, who ignored the withering glare sent her way.

“We’re here because your _witch_ of a niece is trying to bring a _demon_ into our school, and you’re letting her! We’re just lucky my little angel Trevor overheard you planning this little meeting and told me, instead of being too scared to! I can’t prove it but he came home with a broken arm, and he wouldn’t admit it, but I _know_ it was that brat. So we’re here to stop you trying to ruin this fine school by bringing in magic. Well, any more than it already has been by allowing that _witch_ to stay enrolled!”

Karen took a deep breath as she finished her rant, being energized by encouraging nods from her fellow PTA members. Argus just narrowed his eyes. So _this_ was Trevor’s mother.

“Trevor is your ‘little angel’ huh?” he began, using all his willpower to stay calm. “Well, let me tell you something about him. Hilda has come home _in tears_ because of the bullying that your son has put her through. He and his friends constantly taunt and tease her, and I always wondered how a child grew up that horrible, but now I know. You should know, I was ready to go to the school over this, but Hilda begged me not to. That is the _only reason_ that your son didn’t end up suspended, or worse. So next time you try to criticize her, you think of what your son did, and try and figure out if Hilda ever actually did anything wrong to you.”

Karen had gotten more and more mad over the course of his speech, slowly rising to her feet.

“How _DARE_ you! My son would never do anything like that, but even if he did, that brat would have deserved it. She’s a witch, it’s unnatural and-“

 **“SHUT UP!”** Argus roared, surprising everyone, including himself. Part of him wanted to stop, to apologize and talk calmly, but he couldn’t stand any more of this.

“I need you to do something for me. Look out the window. Look at Hilda playing with Twig. She’s smiling. Actually _smiling_. She saw her mum _die_ in front of her. She doesn’t talk and can barely write, so if letting Twig sit peacefully at her feet during class helps, then what’s the harm? Now, unless you’re arguing to let Twig come, then I recommended you sit down, shut up, and _STOP ATTACKING MY DAUGHTER!_ ”

Argus stood there for a while to catch his breath before slowly sinking back into his chair. His outburst could have swung the PTA either way, and he hoped beyond hope that it was to his favour.

~~<3~~

There wasn’t much discussion after that. They ironed out the details of what having Twig there would actually involve, before the vote was called.

Only Karen Greene voted negatively.

~~<3~~

Argus walked out of the school, eyes scanning the playground for Hilda. When he found her, he ran straight over to give her a huge hug.

“We did it Hilda. From now on, Twig is your official emotional support animal and you can take him to school. I told you, only good things.”

Hilda eyes widened before she hugged Argus back, squeezing him twice as hard. Breaking away, she celebrated with Twig, who had no idea what was happening, but if his human was happy then it must be good. Argus watched the two with a smile before taking Hilda’s hand and leading her to the car.

“I don’t know about you, but I think it’s an order in kind of night. Your pick.”

As they got in the car, Argus turned to find Karen still watching them. He gave her his sternest glare, and smiled the whole way home at the thought of her flinch.


	8. Chapter 8

It was just another day when Frida and Hilda were hanging out. David had a cold, and the pair were trying to find a spell to cure him, meaning Frida’s house was out. Argus knew about magic, and as long as it didn’t hurt anyone or cause property damage, they were allowed to practice it in Hilda’s room. So, Hilda lay upside down off the side of her bed, playing with Frida’s hair as the older girl sat on the floor.

Frida just rolled her eyes at her familiar’s antics, flicking through her book, before stopping when she found a bookmarked page.

“Oh! Hilda look at this! I meant to show it to you a while ago but I never got around to it!”

Hilda rolled over to read the text, frowning momentarily as she read the header.

_‘Telepathy Between a Witch and Their Familiar’_

“I didn’t think we would need it at first, but...” she trailed off, and Hilda felt a stab of guilt. Frida wouldn’t have had to worry about communication if she wasn’t so _broken_ and _useless_. Neither of them knew much sign language, so if this helped Frida understand her better, she would do it.

She tapped Frida on the shoulder and nodded, the older girl looking shocked she agreed so fast, or at all.

“Are you sure? It’s completely ok if you don’t want to, your thoughts are your own.”

Hilda nodded again. If there was even the slightest chance that she could be something other than dead weight she would take it. Frida turned around to face her head on before she started chanting.

“Andlegt tengsl, _andlegt tengsl, **ANDLEGT TENGSL**!_”

Frida’s chants got louder and louder and the hair of both girls started rising. The room was bathed in a faint blue glow as magic flared around the room, strengthening the mental link between witch and familiar. Frida could feel it growing in her very core, and as she said the final chant, she mentally dove towards it, following the string back to Hilda.

Frida couldn’t describe being in Hilda’s mind in any word other than _overwhelming_. While she had been following the string, she had felt snippets of emotion, but here she felt every emotion all at once.

Sadness, fear, loathing, _guilt._ There was so much _guilt_ and it pushed at Frida, forcing her back out of her familiar’s mind. Before one final wave of emotion pushed her out, she heard a single thought, echoes hundreds of times.

_‘It’s all my fault.’_

~~<3~~

Frida found herself being thrown across the room as she was ejected, falling on her side in front of Hilda’s bookshelf. Before moving she mentally ran through a checklist, nothing seemed broken, and she hadn’t hit her head, so she was probably fine to sit up. As she opened her eyes, they caught a flash of colour from under the furniture. It was a book, though she could only make out one word from the spine. _‘Blame.’_

Curiosity piked, she pulled it out and brushed the dust off the cover, reading the full title.

_‘Self-blame and how to move past it – realising that it wasn’t your fault’_

The bright yellow corner of a sticky note caught her eye, and though some part of her protested – _this is a **huge** breach of privacy!_ – she opened the book to read it.

_"Hildi, you shouldn't blame yourself. It was **not** your fault. If you ever need someone to ~~talk to~~ come to for comfort, the library doors are always open."_

A groan from the other side of the room snapped her attention to where Hilda was holding her head and slowly sitting up, obviously having hit the wall. Frida opened her mouth to say something, but Hilda, looking at the book and note in horror, bolted from the room before she got the chance.

Frida jumped to her feet to follow her, book still in hand, but when she got outside she couldn’t find the bright blue hair of her friend. Not knowing where she could have gone, or how to even get there, Frida was left with one option.

She had to go tell Argus.


	9. Chapter 9

Frida ran down the streets, relying on her memory to take her to the bell tower that Argus worked in. She had only ever been once, when he had shown all of them how to get there in case of emergency. Frida wasn’t certain, but she was pretty sure Hilda blaming herself for her mother’s death and running off to who knows where counted as an emergency.

After a few wrong turns she made it to the tower, foregoing knocking in favour of slamming the door open and sprinting up the stairs. She burst through the trapdoor as Argus was watching a flock of woffs, making him drop his binoculars out the window. He cursed and turned with an annoyed expression, but it turned to one of confusion as he looked at the very out of breath Frida.

“Frida? What are you doing here? Is Hilda ok?” he asked, panic rising in his voice. Frida took a moment to catch her breath before she sucked in air to explain in one go.

“Hilda blames herself for the accident and I found out so she ran off and I don’t know where she went!”

Argus looked at her in horror, reliving memories with new context.

“She blames... herself? But I always thought...” he trailed off, and Frida rolled her eyes, moving to grab his arm.

“Come _on._ The longer we wait, the longer that Hilda is out there and we still don’t know where she is!”

Argus nodded, and started moving towards the trapdoor, when the book under Frida’s arm caught his eye.

“Why did you run all the way here with a book?” he questioned, and Frida’s eyes glanced down at it before she facepalmed. She started heading down the ladder before looking Argus straight in the eyes.

“I think I know where Hilda is.”

~~<3~~

Frida practically leapt out of the car as Argus pulled up in front of the library, sprinting inside as he puffed along behind her.

“Kid, slow down! I’m not as fast as I used to be!”

Frida just rolled her eyes and ran back to pull him along. Normally she wouldn’t _dream_ of being this bold with an adult, but Hilda was in trouble, and for that she would even stand up to her parents.

They searched the whole library, desperate to find Hilda. But after fifteen minutes, and more than a few mistaken identities, they met back up at the front of the building.

“You didn’t find her either, huh?” Argus guessed from the crestfallen expression on Frida’s face.

“No, and I was so sure she’d be here too! We searched the whole...”

Frida trailed off, and her eyes wandered over to a particular bookshelf, one that was set out from the rest. Argus followed her gaze and frowned; he _had_ thought the placement odd, but was there more too it?

Frida turned to him, the look on her face more serious than Argus would have expected was possible on the young girl.

“What I’m about to show you, you can’t tell _anyone_ about. At all. Not your boss, not your friends, _no-one_. Understand?”

Argus just nodded, feeling strangely intimidated, like if Frida really wanted he could be completely erased from existence. (Frida couldn’t do that, but if she used a _tiny_ bit of magic to make him _think_ she could, what was the harm?)

Satisfied, Frida turned and walked over, placing a single hand on the side of the door. It glowed a faint blue before opening, revealing a hidden room.

“This goes on for quite a while, so we better get moving.”

~~<3~~

After entering about five more hidden rooms with no luck, Frida and Argus were getting disheartened. They were both about to suggest turning back and trying somewhere else when a heavily accented voice floated faintly from another bookcase.

_“När trollmor har lagt sina elva små troll, och bundit fast dem i svansen.”_

Frida slowly and carefully opened the door to reveal Kaisa, who was sitting on a couch with a bundle wrapped in her cape, only identifiable as Hilda by the peek of blue hair coming out of the top. The sobs coming from the small girl broke the hearts of everyone in the room, but no-one dared break the atmosphere.

_“Då sjunger hon sakta för elva små troll, de vackraste ord hon känner.”_

Kaisa turned to them and raised a finger in front of her mouth, never stopping the lullaby, before lowering it to keep rubbing comforting circles into Hilda’s back.

_“Åh aj aj aj aj buff, åh aj aj aj aj buff.”_

The sobs dulled to a sniffle, and eventually to silence, and Hilda’s breathing evened out. Kaisa carefully unclasped her cape and wrapped it fully around Hilda as she finished the song.

_“Åh aj aj aj aj buff buff buff, åh aj aj aj aj buff.”_

As the room fell silent, they could hear Hilda’s gentle snores. Kaisa quietly lead them out of the room, any trace of the softness from earlier gone. As soon as the door was closed, she rounded on them, a furious expression on her face.

“Now, can one of you explain why Hilda came to me in tears? Her hands were too shaky to write or sign, so you’d better have a damm good explanation.”

The words weren’t yelled, but they were said with such ferocity that Frida almost took a step back. This was the angriest she had _ever_ seen Kaisa, and it scared her slightly before she mentally shook her head. Kaisa was her friend, almost an older sister figure, and she would _never_ hurt her. Silently, she handed over the book, hoping it would be explanation enough.

Kaisa took the book, recognising it instantly, and cursed under her breath. (The lamps started to flicker ominously, making her quickly say the counter-curse.)

“Since Hilda just fell asleep, you two are going to wait out here. I will stay with her when she wakes up, and _if_ she is ok with it, I will let you back in. Now Frida, Tildy wanted me to give you this, said you would find the extra reading helpful.”

She waved her hand and a book titled _‘Magic of the mind – risks and rewards’_ floated down towards Frida, losing its purple glow as it fell into her hands.

“And you-“ she said, turning to Argus and handing him the book on self-blame. “You should read this. It would be hypocritical of you to tell Hilda to not blame herself while you do the same. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go wait with Hilda.”

Kaisa turned to leave, but not before she roughly snatched her note from the book in Argus’s hand. The bookcase door slid shut, and Frida and Argus settled down to read.

~~<3~~

Hours passed; Frida and Argus spent the whole time reading. They exchanged glances or looked towards the door on occasion, but they never spoke, tension building in the air right until the bookcase slid open, surrounded by a purple glow.

The pair looked at each other again before walking in, Frida taking the lead. They entered the room to find Kaisa and Hilda still on that same couch, the witch’s cape wrapped around them both, with a notepad and pencil balanced on Hilda’s lap.

As Frida walked in front of the couch, she could see the puffiness of her familiar’s eyes, the trails of tears on her face, and it made her core _ache_. She wanted to wrap Hilda in a hug and never let her go, but she knew that it might not be appreciated.

“I- Hilda-“ she started before taking a deep breath. “Hilda, can I hug you?”

Hilda nodded shakily, and the two girls embraced, holding onto each other like they were the last people on earth. They both missed the way Kaisa smiled at them, eyes full of pride.

Eventually, they broke apart. Argus had found another couch during their embrace and Frida moved to sit beside him. There was a beat of awkward silence before he started to talk.

“Hilda, I want you to know, what happened with the bells was not your fault. No one blames you, you’re just a kid and you shouldn’t think that you caused it.”

Hilda started to tear up, but Kaisa cleared her throat, prompting him to add more.

“And... it wasn’t my fault either. It was an accident and there was nothing either of us could have done to prevent it. So... maybe we can work on realising that together?”

Hilda’s eyes widened, and she slowly untangled herself from the cape, making her way over to Argus and wrapping him in a hug. He hefted her onto his lap, holding her close while mentally promising to never let her go.

Eventually, she signed at Kaisa to ask for the notebook, who floated it over in a wave of magic. Slowly, in shaky handwriting with more than a few false starts, Hilda wrote a single sentence.

_‘It was an accident.’_

Argus nodded before hugging her again, Frida joining in this time. Kaisa watched with a soft smile on her face before Hilda motioned for her to join them.

Healing wouldn’t be completed in a day, or even a year, but maybe they could try to work through it together in the meantime.


	10. Chapter 10

Roughly one year later:

Hilda sat on the Sparrow Scouts’ stage, waiting restlessly for Raven Leader to reach her at the end of the line. This was her second ever badge ceremony, but what excited her was that she was getting her first badge. She had earned her creativity badge with golden wings for her mural on the town wall; she’d had to make a project that helped the community, and for the golden wings it needed to be made from eco-friendly materials.

With Argus’s help, she had painted a guide for basic sign language words and phrases right by the exit from the city. When they had been getting ready to paint, Tontu had appeared with a large box. Hilda had opened it to find it full of Johanna’s art supplies and sketchbooks, making Hilda tear up and give a very reluctant Tontu a hug.

The whole thing had been painted with Johanna’s eco-friendly paint, her favourite flowers decorating the dead space to turn it into a quiet memorial.

She looked out into the crowd, finding Argus and Kaisa sitting there. They caught her eye and gave her small waves, which she returned. They had become her main supports, smiling with her on the good days and holding her while she cried on the bad.

Her gaze subtly shifted to Frida, who was just as fidgety. Their eyes met, and Hilda couldn’t stop the small blush that appeared on her face. They had gotten much closer, completing the ritual to seal them as witch and familiar. They hadn’t tried the telepathy again, but they were so in sync they never needed it, being able to read the other’s emotions with a glance. Hilda had asked Kaisa if the fluttering in her chest was part of the bond, but the witch had just laughed and said that she would figure it out eventually.

She looked further towards the front to David, who had just gotten his badges from Raven Leader. He didn't mind her silence; he understood, and when they were together he talked enough for the both of them. He made it a point to join her on all her adventures, as few as they were, and had gained some confidence, standing up for himself against bullies, Trevor and Marra alike.

Hilda still didn’t speak much. She was fluent in sign language, as were the people around her, but there were still days where she couldn’t communicate at all. Hilda _hated_ those days. She had so many thoughts, so many things she wanted, _needed_ , to say, but her hands would shake and refuse to move, leaving her with no option but to cry. She would cry, she would sob, she would scream until she had no more breath in her lungs, and then she would seek comfort in her family.

That’s not to say it was _all_ bad though. She had only said a handful of words over the year, but every one of them was a huge accomplishment, and always celebrated as such. (Argus would forever deny the fact he cried when Hilda called him dad.)

With Twig staying with her at school, she managed to pass all her subjects, even getting A’s and B’s in some! Trevor and his gang hadn’t picked on her, most of the members apologizing to her instead. She had been wary to accept, but eventually forgave them. They weren’t friends exactly, but they would wave if they saw the other in the street.

Hilda was pulled out of her musing when Raven Leader came over to her and attached her badge onto her sash. Hilda signed _‘thank you’_ before performing the Sparrow Scout salute, smiling wildly the whole time. Raven Leader smiled and saluted back before going to close the ceremony.

Hilda bounded off the stage into the waiting arms of Argus who picked her up and spun her around. Kaisa and Frida joined them, David splitting off to go join his family, and they left together, making plans of dinner out and ice cream for desert.

Hilda looked at her family and knew that no matter what the future may hold, with everyone by her side, there’s nothing she can’t face.


End file.
